All’s fair in law and war
Canadian Arab News (April 7. 2010)
“Brian Cohen: Good evening, and welcome to Face of the Nation. Our subject tonight: freedom of expression and criticism of Israel. Every Canadian knows that freedom of expression is guaranteed under Article 2 of the Charter of Rights and Freedoms. Without freedom of expression, there would be no freedom to dissent, and without the freedom to dissent, there would be no individualism, and without individualism there would be no democracy. ... read more

‘Oscar Preview’—with Lance Boyle
Canadian Arab News (January 25, 2010)
“Good evening, and welcome to WTFN’s inaugural Oscar preview show. I’m your host Lance Boyle coming to you from Los Angeles. The ceremony may still be weeks away but there’s a lot to talk about. Joining us in The Cutting Room is veteran movie columnist and critic Miriam Kale.” (Lance Boyle turns to face Miriam Kale. They are sitting in high-backed upholstered chairs across from each other. A black coffee table is between them and all around are enlarged stills and posters of the nominated movies.) Before we get into the movies themselves, Miriam, what’s your opinion on the Academy’s decision to include 10 best-picture nominees instead of the usual five? ... read more

It’s a dog’s life for Israel’s pet politicians
Canadian Arab News (September 10, 2009)
(Judith, a university student in her early 20s picks up the TV remote and sits down on her living room sofa. The TV comes on, and she calls to her mother.) “Hey Mom, what channel is that reality show of yours on?”

MOTHER: “87.”

JUDITH: “It’s not here. There’s some kind of political talk show.” …

BRIAN COHEN: “… and welcome again to Pet Politicians, the show where we talk to politicians and the animals they love. Today, I’m pleased to welcome to the show Alan Baker, Israel’s ambassador to Canada. Welcome, Alan.” read more

Exposing Israel’s war crimes is child’s play
gregfelton.com (January 24, 2009)
ANNOUNCER: (off camera) “Time once again for everyone's favourite clown—‘Bozo Bernie’!” (A bouncy song heralds the arrival of Bernie Fubar, star of the Canadian Jewish Circus’s ‘The Bozo Bernie Show’. About a dozen boys and girls aged four to 10 are on the set and part of this live TV children’s show. They cheer and clap as ‘Bozo Bernie’ enters, waves and frolics with them. The theme music dies down…)

BOZO BERNIE: “Welcome, kids!”

KIDS: “Hi Bozo Bernie!”

BOZO BERNIE: “We’ve got a great show for you today—cartoons, games, and a special surprise!”

KIDS: “What is it? What is it? What is it?”... read more

To understand war criminals we must learn to respect the irrational mind
Canadian Arab News (January 13, 2009)
(THE SCENE: A graduate seminar in political psychology at a Canadian University. The professor enters and takes his place at the end of a medium-sized oblong table)

PROFESSOR: “Good morning, and welcome to Aberrant Political Psychology. I’m Professor Langston. Before we begin, a show of hands—how many of you are taking this course because you want to know what makes people become evil? (a few hands go up.) Hmm. You’ll save yourself and this class a lot of aggravation if you leave right now and sign up for a Bible study course. ‘Evil’ is a moral absolute found only in the simplistic, zero-sum world of religion and American movies. It has no place in a rational investigation of the human mind.”

REG: “Are you saying that evil does not exist?”... read more

Remembrances of things past present an ethical dilemma
Canadian Arab News (November 10, 2008)
(THE SCENE: A coffee bar on a university campus. A group of friends from a history class are having lunch and discussing Remembrance Day.)

REG: “I don't know about you guys, but I sure could use the extra day's rest on Monday.”

JUDITH: “Typical. The one day a year when we’re expected to honour our veterans and reflect on their sacrifices and all you want to do is sleep…probably watch football, too.”

REG“Why not? I’m beat, and you’re just as tired as I am. Look, it’s not that I don’t respect what they did. I just don’t see why I have to get up early and freeze my tail off at some ceremony.”... read more

Saturday Night Live “Bailout” skit
(NBC, October 4, 2008)
This satire of the banking crisis created major problems for NBC. The station pulled the video and is said to have gone after anyone who put it on the web. It was up on multiple sites and virtually all the copies are now gone. There are a few new “edited” copies on the net. but this is the unedited version. (WARNING: the wmv file is large—19.2Mb—but worth every Kb. When satire is censored, you know it tells the truth.) Play/download video

Michael Ignatieff’s crime and punishment shows real face of Canada’s government
Canadian Arab News (October 16, 2006)
(THE SCENE: Evening, Oct. 11, 2006. In the centre of a darkened room stands Michael Ignatieff, candidate for the Liberal Party leadership. He is agitated and confused.)

MICHAEL IGNATIEFF: (shouting into the darkness) “Where am I! Who brought me here? I demand to know what’s going on!” (After a brief pause, a calm but menacing voice answers.)

VOICE: “You have no right to demand anything, Mr. Ignatieff. On the contrary, it is we who will be demanding certain things of you.”

IGNATIEFF: “‘We?’ Who is ‘we?’ Do I know you?”VOICE: “Yes, of course you do. Everyone does, though few have ever met us. We are as well-known to Canadians as hockey and maple syrup. They see us every day in their media, and when the government speaks, our voice is clearly discernable.” ... read more

When truth is a threat to a government’s lies, honest opinion must adopt a satirical guise
Canadian Arab News (August 8, 2006)
Ugh! TV—what a wasteland! Hmm. What’s this? A new political affairs show? Let’s give it a shot. Click!

SONOROUS VOICE-OVER “…and now Face of the Nation with your host Brian Cohen.”

BRIAN COHEN: “Good evening. As the massacre in Lebanon continues to dominate the news, Canada’s uncritical support for Israel’s bombardment is having damaging repercussions at home and abroad for Stephen Harper’s new government. His party’s popularity is collapsing in Quebec, and even his own constituency office in Calgary is beset by anti-war protesters.Overseas, Canada’s reputation as a fair-minded, law-abiding nation is now in question. Has the new Harper government shot itself in the foot? How did the party come to adopt pro-Israel absolutism? To answer these and other questions, please welcome our guest, Foreign Affairs Minister Peter McKay.”... read more

Nobody Expects the Jewish Inquisition!
Canadian Arab News (September 1, 2005)
Yes, folks, time for another episode of Flip Your Yarmulke!—the unintentionally funny reality show where members of Canada’s Jewish Lobby go berserk on scholars and journalists who challenge the verities of zionist dogma and seek justice for Muslims. The rules of the show are simple. A Lobby representative impugns the integrity of a writer or publication by invoking the stale epithets “anti-Semitism” and “anti-Israel bias,” and then advocates censorship under the guise of fighting racism. ...read more